Watch for me on the news tonight

I have discovered some rather disturbing news. I am likely to be a psychopath. I am not making this up. Here is a recent headline from the Daily Mail, a respected British newspaper: “Is not joining Facebook a sign you’re a psychopath? Some employers and psychologists say staying away from social media is ‘suspicious.’” Among other gems in this article, I learned that:

• Human resources departments across the country are becoming more wary of young job candidates who don't use Facebook.
• Young people shouldn't date anyone who isn't on Facebook.
• Not having a Facebook account could be the first sign that you are a mass murderer.

Admittedly, I might be stretching it a bit to claim that the first two bullet points apply to me as I might not fit the standard definition of a “young” person but clearly, I am the very man targeted by bullet point three. I am going to have to retreat and ponder how this might affect my life, now that I am a suspected psychopath.

I have a cousin who ate a lizard when we were teenagers. You would think that this type of behaviour would generally qualify you to be considered a potential psychopath. However, he has two things going for him that render him safe from suspicion:

1. He has a Facebook account.
2. He is active on Twitter.

I’m not sure about this, but he may even have a Pinterest account, even though he is a manly man.

Apparently, the more active one is on social media sites, the less suspicious one becomes of being a psychopath.

When I was in junior high, a kid one year older than me, and slightly smaller, bullied me. He was a psychopath then and as I am unable to find him using my wife’s Facebook account, he has apparently not grown out of it.

This is all very confusing to me. I would think that becoming addicted to a social media site that encourages people to tell all their friends when they are constipated, tired, grumpy, or how many cubic litres of material their child vomited up during the night, or to broadcast a warning that they are going to the grocery store would provide a constant stream of psychopathic behaviour from the general population. But no, apparently all of this newsworthy activity shields one from the temptation to give in to the dark side and heed the voices in one’s head. 

Now I do understand that it is a pretty good boost to your self esteem when you post a photograph of yourself once a week so that all of your friends can write, “You are a gorgeous hot person-of-the-opposite-sex magnet!” I can see how this would protect you from destructive behaviour such as narcissism, etc.

What I have trouble with is figuring out why I am suspected of being a psychopath just because I don’t see the point in telling all of my friends (both of them) that I like a goat more than the President of the United States.

You will next hear about me on the ten o’clock news.

In the meantime, enjoy some photos we took of autumn in Northern Ireland.

Elder Blickenstaff

A magic castle on top of an enchanted hill.

My favourite missionary companion of all time.

This a railroad bridge was built in 1849. The centre span is 126 feet above the river.

This looks like Lemony Snicket built it.

This dress is made from real Northern Irish linen and contains 9 yards of linen in every yard of pleat. I know this doesn’t sound impressive compared to the 50 yards of fabric in what the Nazgul wore in LOTR but there are no ringwraiths in Northern Ireland so we just make dresses here.

My companion took this from the car at 60 mph which is quite impressive. I didn’t think the car would go that fast.

This rare sunset photo looks fake but it’s not. It usually rains at sunset but this one time it didn’t.

These fine looking missionaries comprise the Lisburn District. They come from Ohio, Australia, Idaho, West Virginia, Orem, Springville and Timber Lakes.

This is one good way to graduate from YSA. John O’Connor married Eve McCrudden.

 It is tough duty to go to all these weddings but someone has to do it.

My sister Cathie used to date a guy who drove one of these magnificent 3-wheelers. She didn’t like the guy too much but she loved the car.