The Penultimate Post

I have been granted authorization to post another bloggy thingy! I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. The reason for this enthusiastic restraint is that our son, Jason, came to visit this past week. We enjoyed introducing him to some of our favourite awe-inspiring scenery, people we have come to love and food that we have used to expand our collective girth. We had a brilliant week and it passed too quickly. The only good thing about his departure this morning was that when we said goodbye at the airport, he said, “Well, I will see you in a couple of weeks.” Wow! Seriously? A couple of weeks?

Yesterday, my companion, Sister Blickenstaff, in a culinary exhibit of the highest order, hosted a dinner for Jason, our sister missionaries and a couple of local citizens whom we have rescued from a life of sin and careless behaviour. Sister Blick baked four baguettes, which, as near as I can tell, are not quite full-size bags – hence the name, baguettes. Ha ha! This is a gastronomic joke. As everyone knows, a baguette is, in actual fact, a French feminine noun, referring to a long thin loaf of French bread that is made from dough. I am not making this up. Apparently some loaves of French bread are not made from dough. Perhaps they are made from French fries, French braids, French kisses, French toast, French beans, French cuffs, French dressing, French doors, French horns, French Resistance, French onion soup, French Revolution, the French Foreign Legion, Daniel Chester French or French’s® Mustard – Since 1904. The important thing to know is that the dough in a baguette is defined by French law. Of course, outside the borders of France, French law is about as relevant as a Kim Jong-un opinion of acceptable behaviour in Sunday school. I have no idea what the law says, as I am not a Frenchman. The main thing to remember out of all this is that the last word in the book of Jacob is French. Also, my companion baked four baguettes, which takes us back to where we started before we got lost in all this French business.

As we wrap up this wonderful mission, we have been making the Belfast Northern Ireland Stake Farewell Tour 2013. After this coming Sunday, we will have spoken in sacrament meeting in all 11 units in the stake and stayed awake during most of it.

Last week we were honoured to be able to accompany about 25 of our YSA and friends (including Jason) to the temple in Preston England. We were there for four days and had an experience never to be forgotten. The feelings were tender, the company was outstanding and the Spirit was strong. This valiant group of young men and women are the future leaders of the Church in this country and we felt so humbled to be able to be in the temple with them, focusing on things that matter.

We held a fireside at the home of the temple president where many shared their testimonies. It was such a wonderful way to begin the end. My companion encouraged each of us to make good choices in our lives so that when we meet each other again, we can be together, forever.

Loads and loads of cool people at the temple.

Powerful stuff.

As was this amazing discovery. While I was pondering during a recent meeting, I glanced down at my notebook. It had two words printed in large block letters on the back inside cover. It said USEFUL INFORMATION. This intrigued me and I looked a little closer. One of the pieces of useful information is this:

            There are 1,728 cubic inches in a cubic foot

            There are 24 ¾ cubic feet in a perch of stone

            A perch of stone is 16 ½ feet long, 1 ½ feet wide and 1 foot deep

I’m sure this is useful information to someone, but not to me. Not everything the world (or the manufacturer of your notebook) labels as useful information actually is. The world is guilty of mislabelled information and false advertising. Remember this when you are making an Internet purchase or thinking about letting go of the Iron Rod.

As many of you, I am excited about the just-announced changes in the study aids used in conjunction with the scriptures in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In my review, one of the changes I noticed is in the chapter headings of the Book of Mormon. In most instances, I saw the word shall has been changed to will. This got me to thinking and so I spent sometime online looking at the difference between shall and will.

Some people say there used to be a difference but they are now used interchangeably. Some people say those people are wrong. Some people say that there is a difference between the British and American usage of shall and will. Some people say those people are wrong. Some people say they are right. Some people say those people are wrong.

This is what I say, after reading what the other people said. Since this is my opinion, no one can say I am wrong because it is a well-known fact that I am a world-class expert on what my opinion is.

In the beginning, shall was used with first person pronouns (I and we). Will was used with all other person pronouns (him, her, they and youse’ns). This was particularly so in British English. Over time, will has become the norm for all pronouns and is considered to be less formal than shall. Some lawyers still use shall in legal documents because their object is to get gain (see Alma 11:20).

I found one clever comment from John (the commenter, not the Beloved). He posted the following comment about an article outlining shall vs will. 

“So, you have found a loophole in the Ten Commandments. It’s about time. Am I to understand since they are not grammatically correct they are not enforceable?”

Ha ha. I would like to have a conversation with John the commenter. Perhaps someday, I shall will.

I have now squandered another perfectly good hour writing about nothing. But I take great satisfaction in knowing that somewhere, at least one person is reading this. Unfortunately, he graduated from Monticello High School and may not be able to actually comprehend the big words, like shall and will.

Jason reprising the role of Legolas boarding on a cannon to repulse the enemy.

Jason driving the tour bus around Belfast.

Practicing for when I get old.

Best missionary companion in the world!

Will she let him post one last time if he promises to behave? Stay tuned.

Elder Blickenstaff