PAY ATTENTION!

Today we will tackle the thorny subject of nationality. In America, citizens are known as Americans. Now some Americans will argue that it’s not that simple, but it is. Except in San Juan County, where every few years, some people from Blanding and Monticello line up on opposite sides of Devil’s Canyon and hurl insults across the chasm at one another for a few weeks until someone points that none of them have to live in Salt Lake, at which point they all go somewhere on Blue Mountain, count their blessings and grill burgers together and everything is fine.

However, here, in the U.K. nationality is a very complicated issue, best not to be brought up in mixed company. The BBC (the world’s most trusted media corporation other than the now-defunct KUTA 790 on your radio dial) recently published a brief guide for foreigners visiting London for the 2012 Olympics. I will quote the section of Nationality, as it is simply too good to paraphrase:

“The English are British and lots of people think the British are English but that annoys the Scottish and Welsh because although some think they're British and some think they aren't and some think they are but don't want to be, they all agree that they definitely are not English. The Irish mostly think they are Irish, apart from the ones who are Northern Irish. Some say that makes them British and Irish. But others disagree and say they should just be Irish and then some say they aren't British either but part of the United Kingdom. People from England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland can all play cricket for England because they're British as can those from Ireland even though they aren't British. So can South Africans. The English play football for England unless they aren't that good when they might try to play for Ireland. Those from the Isle of Wight are English, from Anglesey are Welsh and the Orkneys are Scottish, but although that means they aren't from the island of Great Britain they're still British. The Channel Islanders depend on the crown which is what the Queen wears but they aren't in the UK and those from the Isle of Man are the same, apart from their cats.”

Now for those of you who aren’t paying attention, here is a wee hint: PAY ATTENTION!

The official name of the country where we are serving our mission is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Great Britain consists of England, Scotland and Wales. Northern Ireland consists of Northern Ireland. Ireland is another country altogether and has nothing to do with anything in this entire post. I am not making this up. 

Here is the fifty million pound (approximately  $USD80,000,000) question we always get from home, “Aren’t Ireland and Northern Ireland the same country?”

Here is the simple answer, “NO!”

This is like asking someone from Utah, “Aren’t Utah and Idaho the same state?” I mean, yes, they both contain the letter “a” but that is it; other than that, they are two totally different states. To prove this, you can look at a map and see that Utah and Idaho are, in fact, not the same state. Likewise, you, dear reader, can look at a map and see that Northern Ireland and Ireland are on the same island, but they are not the same country.

In other words, PAY ATTENTION!

Do not let this confuse you, but there is actually no such country as Ireland. Ireland is the popular nickname of the country officially called the Republic of Ireland. Ireland is actually the name of the island upon which the two countries are located.

But this is not all. Do not let this confuse you, but there is actually no such country as Northern Ireland either! I am not making this up. There is no legal description nor generally accepted term of what Northern Ireland is. It is not technically a country, province or region. It is simply Northern Ireland.

Now to be fair to all of you who were born after 1801 but before 1922, the entire island of Ireland was one country, called Ireland. Northern Ireland came into being in 1922.

In other words, PAY ATTENTION!

There are some people today who think that Northern Ireland should be reunited with the Republic of Ireland, whilst others think not. Fortunately for you, we missionaries do not get involved in political discussion so you don’t have to put up with my views on the topic as I, in accordance with policy, have none.

Here is the bottom line: ________________ .

Ha ha. That is actually not the bottom line, but it is close. It is almost the penultimate line, one might say. The point is, whatever you call this stunningly beautiful part of the island upon which we serve, it is a lovely place, with lovely people and a wonderful culture. We love being here and we love serving. If you are approximately our age, or if you are exactly not our age, we encourage you to consider serving. It’s the best thing we have done since we discovered not to put gasoline in the tank of a diesel-powered car.

In other words, PAY ATTENTION!

Here is positive proof of the claims made in this post: