Leftovers

We are nearing the end of the lifetime of this blog; our time in Northern Ireland is drawing to its conclusion. Whilst you are rejoicing over that, may I take this opportunity to inform you that this post contains all the little bits and bobs I wanted to post last year, but couldn’t quite work them in. This is a veritable potpourri of bitty bobby leftovers that you won’t want to miss.

For example, along with my duties as a missionary, I have retained my other critical-in-saving-the-universe job as the webmaster for the Timber Lakes Utah Property Owners Association. In this capacity I have recently been maligned by a former property owner.

It happened like this. I was minding my own business when I received an email from a woman whom I do not know. Here it is, with the names changed to protect the innocent:

From:  Betty Croaker

Subject: The Webmaster

Date:  27 December 2012 15:22:10 GMT+01:00

To:  Webmaster 

Sorry, I have just sold my cabin to Billy and Pepsi Hawkins, therefore, I will not need to have the Webmaster sent to me in the future. 

       Thank you, Betty Croaker

Ha ha! I assure you that as I am serving a mission with my wife in Northern Ireland, I have never been sent to Betty or to any other woman. She is making the whole thing up.

I know it is too late for this next piece of news to help you out with Christmas 2012, but for those of you who like to plan ahead, see if you can get a good deal on a box.

A study just released here in the UK shows that you should just give your child a cardboard box for Christmas. Almost half (46%) of parents say their child enjoys playing with boxes instead of toys and games. And almost twice as many parents say their youngster prefers playing with boxes than gadgets. One in seven parents said their child spent longer playing with the gift wrapping than the toy itself.

Save this post and pull it out next year when you are shopping for that perfect Christmas box.

Next item on my list of leftovers is a quote from Brigham Young. Trust me, you will want to read this before you prepare your next talk for sacrament meeting.

“I will take the liberty of suggesting to my brethren who address the congregation that our sermons should be short, and if they are not filled with life and Spirit, let them be shorter…” (Journal of Discourses, Volume 12, Page 27 (402).

Next, I was doing a bit o’ research and found two very descriptively named hospitals:

1. Royal Albert Asylum for the Care, Education and Training of Idiots, Imbeciles and Weak-Minded Children and Young Persons of the Northern Counties. This was eventually renamed to a much shorter, less informative name, but I can’t remember what it is.
2. The Royal Belfast Hospital for Sick Children, apparently named so as not to confuse people with The Royal Belfast Hospital for Well Children. (Ha ha, I am making this up. Not the Sick Children part. That is its real name today. I made up the part about the Well Children. There is no hospital for well children; that’s why the name is funny. No? Well, I guess you had to be here. It’s never funny if you have to explain why it’s funny.)

During our mission, I have been required to play the piano during some church meetings. This occurs when I am the most advanced pianist in the congregation and is an indication of the sad state of proficient LDS pianists in Northern Ireland. We attended a stake training meeting last year. The training was excellent, which is the good news. I had to play the piano, which is the bad news. I am not always confident or proficient enough to play the proper tempo so often when I play, the music drags.

At the stake training meeting in question, Darren Sheils, a local member, was asked to conduct the music, which came as a total shock to him; he hadn’t ever lead the music.

He asked, “Elder Blickenstaff, how fast should I lead this?”

I said, “It doesn’t matter, I am not going to look at you.”

He laughed and replied, “Right, I’ll just stick with you.”

One of our YSA was called to serve a mission in the England Birmingham Mission. After he got in the field, he sent me an email that said he was serving in a ward that had an American bishop. When he heard the bishop mention that he had lived in Texas, our missionary asked him if by any chance he knew someone in Texas named Blickenstaff. The bishop said that a Blickenstaff was his bishop when he lived in Texas. The bishop in England turned out to be our old friend from Humble, Mark Vernon. The missionary wrote to me, “I could tell you had a great influence on Bishop Vernon because his hair was always perfect.”

And finally, here is one more quote from Brigham Young, in which we learn that I have done something he never did.

“I never preached in Texas, but I have preached in places as wicked…” (Journal of Discourses, Volume 4, Page 76).

Congatulations friend. You have read to the end. Not the end of our mission, which won’t happen for another few months, just the end of this post. I trust that you know that I am enjoying serving this mission with a companion of my own choosing far more than I have intimated in my various musings on our blog. It’s way better than leftovers.

Elder Blickenstaff

One of our favourite missionaries, Elder Smithers. Check out the sporty tartan mission tie, to be worn at each Zone and District Meeting.

This is actually a self-portait of me shooting into a mirror using flash, but I accidentally captured my companion in shopping mode.

Taking a break from Preach My Gospel at a District Meeting. Our zone leaders are in the back row, centre, making sure we don’t goof off.

Taking a break in front of a unique building, which dates back to 1861.
The kegs are not ours, but you can see this pub was busy over the weekend. Ironically, the address of this building is on Upper Church Lane.

The only two remaining senior missionaries in Northern Ireland. We are almost as rare as hobbits.